Love? No, not love. That idea left me centuries ago. Laugh in disbelief if that buoys your courage. But I do not love her, though I admire and respect her. And yes, I want her with me.

I’ve watched her for some time now. At first my curiosity was simply piqued; nothing more. Her survival impressed me, her resistance incensed me (still does) and her tenacity in seeking truth impresses me. The reason I want her is to save her.

She has no feeble-minded idea that truth is indescribable or a sense or a feeling. She understands words, ideas and striving to know revealed truth. But she is naïve, she believes truth will strengthen her. She believes because that old man whom she calls teacher and friend teaches her to believe truth, though painful, is better than constant distraction. 

Ha! Those who crave distraction in work or pleasure are calling out to be servants or prey. I accommodate their cravings. I seek truth and find it daily. Does God exist? Yes, of course He does, and He dogs us, He demands and He commands and He thwarts freedom. So I thwart Him.

And yes, I’ve thwarted Him for some time.

Someday soon she will understand the old man lied to her, her father lied to her and Quincey lied to her. They are like the men who stand at altars and pray. They are like the men who stand behind their crosses rather than face me. They are subtle, but their desire is the same as mine – power.

The difference? I want her on equal standing with me. I want to ride the airwaves with her, eddy the currents like the great eagle who sores above mountain tops. I want her to see the night as it really is; endless, vast, and free. She has too strong a mind to feel gratitude. She will join with me in watching from above those who breathe, suffer and die. We will watch for eternity the continual wave and break of humanity against the rocks of destruction and the slime of rebirth.

Yes, she will watch with me and understand that humanity needs no religion or God but our own.